The month of June shines a spotlight on Men’s Mental Health. We recognize that too many men suffer in silence. Whether it’s the weight of unspoken pain, the pressure to appear strong, or the fear of being judged, countless men are navigating mental health struggles alone. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s time to rewrite the story—one that replaces stigma with support, isolation with connection, and silence with strength. Hope and healing are possible—and every man deserves both.
I reached out to several local men from our communities, ranging from age 18 to retired, and asked how they take care of their mental health during tough times or stress. Here are some of their responses on this topic:
“I spend time alone and isolate, and figure it out.”
“I stay involved in organizations and my business to keep my brain active and working. I don’t think ‘masking’ is the right word, but it keeps me focused on more positive things that I can control, and less focused on things I cannot control. Also, meditation through prayer.”
“I hang out with friends, play video games, and take my dogs on a walk.”
“I seclude myself and figure it out….and I have a go-to person.”
“I’ve always found running to be cathartic, so, you’ll find me on long runs listening to music or a podcast after a difficult day or period of my life. Having a dog has also been one of the best ways to consistently find happiness and distraction.”
“I fly fish, get on my bike or tractor (for solitude).”
“I move my body. I lift something heavy, take a long walk in the woods, or hit the rowing machine until my head clears. Movement, especially if it’s play-based…. helps take my mind off things so I can think about them refreshed. Physical exertion helps me reset when my brain feels like it’s stuck in rumination. I also talk things out—usually with my wife, sometimes with a trusted friend…or colleague at work. I’ve learned the hard way that avoiding difficult feelings just turns them into chronic stress and maladaptive coping behavior. I do my best thinking while in motion, and my best processing when I’ve made space for stillness afterward. Also, a good night’s sleep is wonderful medicine as is good, clean food and some supplements.”
“I get outside in nature. Or, I take a spa bath – nothing like hot water, jets, and suds to clear the mind!”
“I don’t dwell on the tough times. Expand your horizons, keep busy, learn new things, and make new friends.”
But why are guys, in general, hesitant to speak up about how their emotions? Why the silence? Here are some reasons that were shared:
“ I think men in general are not honest about mental wellness because we feel less masculine if we are not mentally well. And a lot of us believe there’s not many people who care if we have problems. Men fix stuff, including ourselves…..I believe there’s a stigma that men need to be strong both mentally and physically.”
“In general, conversations and candidness around mental health are stigmatized, and, for men especially, machismo further exacerbates (it). Personally, I sometimes feel that mental health issues are less of a “real” struggle than other issues like one’s physical health, losing a job, the loss of a loved one, or other stressors. As such, I can be reluctant to share mental health issues because I am cognizant that many people face struggles worse than my own.”
“Men are uncomfortable being vulnerable. It shows weakness and we have not been trained to explore those aspects of our life. Men also generally don’t speak with a lot of words, so to open up and articulate what they are struggling with is unnatural.”
“Some (guys) don’t want to look weak or be vulnerable. Some don’t know how to have such conversations. Some don’t even know how to bring up the conversation. Some don’t think men talk about such things.”
“We’re socialized to solve problems, not talk about them. Vulnerability can feel like failure, especially if you’re used to being the person others rely on. Add to that a cultural script that still equates emotional expression with weakness, and you’ve got a recipe for silence. I tend to bottle up my emotions or self-censor my thoughts and feelings. A lot of men have never been given the tools—or permission—to name what they’re feeling. It takes intention and practice to learn new patterns and skills. And even then, it’s hard. We don’t always know what to say. But we know what it feels like to carry too much alone.”
The good news is, most of the guys who contributed to this conversation have a support system in place, which benefits them when it is needed. Read what they had to say about supportive spaces:
“I found that in tough times, some people will come to you and become your support network. Sometimes, you don’t know who will step up until it happens.”
“(Having a support system) didn’t happen by accident. I’ve put effort into building relationships that go beyond surface-level. My wife is my closest confidant, and I’ve got a couple of friends and coworkers who I know can handle the unfiltered version of whatever I’m carrying. I value honesty and depth—so I try to offer that to others first, which has helped those relationships deepen in return.”
“I do (have support)! Mostly men of faith either from my church, or friends.”
“I am grateful to have cultivated a network of people who can not only talk through problems and stressors I face but also plan activities/hangouts that distract me from issues… and put my mind in a happy place.”
“I do (have a support system), but quite honestly, I do not utilize them as I should. I have a tendency to try to handle things on my own before seeking the assistance of others – maybe because of my mental health background I feel like ‘I should be able to handle it’ even though I know that’s ludicrous and I have worked with a therapist and quite enjoy it. I am good at talking about my mental health if someone is asking me about it or if I feel like it would help the other person.”
Here are some actionable steps we can take to support mental wellness in boys, teens, and men:
- Support Emotional Expression
Encourage men to share feelings and lead with openness. - Create Safe Spaces
Offer judgment-free places for honest conversations. - Male Role Models
Show examples of men who talk about mental health. - Build Peer Support
Promote groups or friendships where men can open up. - Teach Emotional Skills
Start early with tools to name and express emotions. - Redefine Strength
Show that asking for help is strong, not weak.
So, for the men reading this today: We see you. We value your role in our communities and families, and are here to lend support. You may think reaching out for help is a sign of weakness, but there IS strength and bravery in taking care of your health.
~Andrea, MHA Lakeshore Education Specialist
